Words Hurt & Words Heal

Young. Wild. Free.
 I have too many shits to give already
 I don’t intend to give no more
 Gone is the time when every little critique
 Pricked me right to the core

 I burn in fumes for a second
 It pinches as it should
 Yet I don’t let myself succumb to it
 I save my fuel for the good

 I remember the time I’d waste
 Over guilts, mind at war
 I rather be calm than impulsive
 I know it’s not worth anymore

 I’m trying to overlook harsh words
 When it haunts back too loud
 I put them in a poem
 Someday I’d read out aloud

 I know there’s no ill intention
 But words are powerful my friend
 They cut through and heal
 They're everything you do or don’t intend 

Maybe Next Time

 I don’t know
 This ain’t new
 This strong endorsement
 That I have for you
 I mean I open your chat
 Enter the text box
 I have so many things to say
 Connect all those dots

 I run back to my pages
 To structure my thoughts
 But they still lay impatient
 Scuffling to unbox
 I close my eyes
 It’s the same old smile
 I came too far for this
 Need to walk an extra mile

 You are in my search list
 I don’t like to archive
 You are in the records
 I would play while I drive
 I gush through anecdotes
 That I wish were true
 You are my affirmation
 When I’m misconstrued

 You are the trophy
 Won in toughest battles
 You are the treasures
 I need to build my castle
 I still don’t know
 It’s been more than an hour
 I’ve got so much to say
 Maybe next time, with some flowers 

Image by A_Different_Perspective from Pixabay

Feeling Dark?

“Life is difficult. I had never expected it to be so beautiful and yet so brutal at the same time. Sometimes, I feel like ending. First, because I believe I have had my best, that there’s no more good left to feel, or experience. The best has already happened, and anything less would be injustice to myself.

Nothing can replace ‘the best’, right? And anything you get next, is like a compromise, it’s like the second best, it’s like less. And I do not want less. I do not want the next. I just need the best!

I do not wish to be explicit; I just want to pour out what it feels tonight. My greatest of fears is advancing. It feels like someone’s putting a knife on your chest, and you bleed tears, and yet you smile, because you must! It’s like imagining yourself destroying lives and then thinking that the world could do better off without you.

I just wanted to write this down, because this will stay, these emotions are strong enough to make a firm presence. I wish to come back to it, after years and see if it made sense, my fears and how my future self is going to face it. I just want to tell her, this will end. Life is just too small for the sufferings to last longer than you deserve to be in. I love you a lot, I love the person you are, and I love what you have done. I know it all, and it does make sense.” 

.

.

.

PS: I have felt this way and to anyone feeling the same, I just want to tell you, I love you, you’re precious. Things will be good. They’ve been for me. And they’ll be good for you too :’)

Surviver

Nobody has an inch of idea
Of the amount of pain she carries
Beneath her cheerful smile
And the jolly laughs

The way she spreads the love
Like molten magma
That fills up the earth
Replacing the voids in us

Dear darling be strong
Cause you're what I get strength from
Smile and walk ahead
Be a surviver in this brutal world

.

.

.

PS: Wrote this last Dec, for my friend Shruti, who wanted to talk to her Dad. She had lost him a few months back then.

It’s About Commitment

You might have had the worst day
like things didn't go as planned
like head hurts terribly
yet you advance
for it's all about commitment
to the work you signed up for
It's okay to sometimes defend yourself
for the inability to reach that mark
but if you're really committed
you'd move mountains to reach that far


Candy Days

I choose colourful pictures
because these are candy days
I've got an ocean to outpour
a zillion emotions to save

I've a colossal stretch of work
many books awaiting to be read
Thoughts to share and people to meet
but work is probably insane

Don't confound my occupied schedule
as I compare it with candy days
Days like these I love
Days like these keep me sane

Inexplicably Beautiful

Today was magnetic
I can somehow not get over it yet
I’m afraid if I say anything
Would mean so much less

Little did I remember how
I had your perfume on my sleeves
like it’d already been a lifetime
Feeling you right over my fingertips

I could just immerse myself
Relive the day a million times
I’d even savour the mesmeric beauty
Of that vintage lamp by your side

I can't seem to find words
For a day of days; I'm healed
I think I feel beautiful too
I just can't explain...


On the Other Side

Its crazy how the world 
Can be and not be like we want
Its crazy we try so hard
To fit in
But i think like this
We are ourselves
I am just me
And you are just you
They are just them
Please excuse my writing
Because it doesn't make sense right now
But hey, you will come out of this
One day
And you'll be as proud of yourself
As I am proud of you
This time is struggle
And we are fighters
I will see you on the other side 
Of the victory ground.
I wish I were there for you
To make your short breaks worthwhile
Refresh you in the little moment you got
Help you push yourself a little more
To make you feel you're beautiful inside out

My Best Girl

I received your last mail yesterday, and I was awestruck. I believe it wouldn’t be fair enough to simply reply in there. So, today I write. For you :’)

You are Fucking Awesome, and I Love You. You’re sure going to do something Great! I believe in You.

You can be the music to my lyrics
the pain in my ass
You love me like a family
You're the best girl I can have

You know me so well
there's nothing I can hide
I'd do anything for you
Friends like you, are rare to find

Even if you move for me mountains
You'd say "Yaar, nothing I could do"
You are my missing piece of puzzle
Without you, I just cannot do!

I’ve got plethora of pictures that I browsed through tonight, but let’s not make you senti by revisiting all of them at once. And I’m there for you no matter what, your ribs won’t break, idiot!

Ah, you take my heart when you said that momo thing.

And Hey, your fresh ***** you feed yourself, from my side. Tell me if you need more okay…