Bleeding Friendships

Don't friends fight sometimes
In the end reconcile too?
I'm in hope, that maybe someday
We can row in one boat and
Laugh out loud like we always do?

The bygone days can't come back
But we can plan trips, no?
When everything's back to normal
And possibly there're chances to meet
Can we get together some place too?

Even street side dahi puchka is good
When I share the plate with you
So let's just meet for a cup of tea
Making memories for a lifetime
Till the next time I see you two?

Let's forgive each other at once
Restart like we did as sophomores?
Let's just stop feeling this low
Let's just stop being so cruel
Let's just love each other true?




Did You Lose Something Too?

Last year, around September
I wrote about losing you
Long before, sometime in 2018
I kind of felt that way too

Now that we do not talk
and I do not care anymore
I write about losing you
Better off without you

Forevers are too old fashioned huh
and you've got so much to distract yourself
Maybe you never needed me in first place
I don't need your negativities too!

But you'd been in my heart
four long years is quite a time
Untangling you is jumbling me 
Has it never been the same for you?

You're nice, and sweet and all
But you're whiner, and griper
You're fake and you're troubles
but then you're also a biased lover

You've loved me, when you thought I was right
You've cared enough
I've been there in your thick and thin
Now you leave when I tell you you're wrong?

You say that I take sides
and I never took yours
How in a moment you break us
Is it not a big deal to you?

I had been thinking about
how to wish you one month from now
Call? Wouldn't that be weird
Maybe I will leave a text on phone?

Social media texts are even better
but I haven't been seeing your posts lately
Afraid to find what you could have done
Ah! So you have unfriended us!

I peep in to see your happy posts
with your gangs, or solo
you've made quite a friends
You'd never understand this hollow

I see you've been posting bolder pics
Slaying with our 'enemy' friends
I've been reading real friends are never lost
only people masquerading as friends are!

So, after long I'm trying to engulf
that we're just a history now
But did you never feel the twinge
did you never lose a part or a thing?










Ouch.

A Letter to Myself

Writing_Letter

(Enough of talking in the head)

*Time for SELF-love*

Hey,

So I came here for writing a blog post, but settling up to write you a letter to let you know that it’s okay if you’ve had bad days in the recent past, there have been good ones too, and then there will be some better days. I am here to cheer you up because you always fail to acknowledge your self-worth in difficult times, or should I say every once in a while?

So, what are you worried for? Is work being a bitch? Are things around overwhelming and you find it difficult to engulf the sad reality? Have you watched a lot of news recently? Is somebody sick? Bad day at office? Name it, and I’ll know! Yea, a lot of things are going around in your head, but hey, remember who you are? You’re my supergirl! You’re going to make it.

I know you’ve been doing everything needed, more like the son of the family, and it’s tiring sometimes. The days are longer because though there is not much work, there are trainings and projects you’re enrolled to. It’s boring working on those NRT scenarios, and it’s a bundle of joy to deploy your angular app in docker.

You’re appreciated, you’re warned. You’re happy, and you’re stressed. That’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it? You just need to keep sailing in this endless sea, until you reach a shore, and find your purpose, maybe?

You might never have imagined how working for office during the day, and freelancing the night would turn out to be. Thanks to the Almighty, you’ve had enough to pay your bills, and carve a smile on your parents’ lips. Ah, see how you make them proud! I’ve loved you, always. Yes, I do hate a part of you, but let me just love all of you tonight.

You’re probably more upset because your ironman is unwell. But hey, let me remind you of the first poetry you wrote for him, about the lucky girl and the lost thing. You got me? Okay, it’s been like a decade, and we didn’t yet find what’s lost, but we learned to live with it. Things go from good to bad, sometimes worse too, but your ironman is going to fight all of it, you know that too.

Let’s bring a smile back on your face with that lovely compo!

The Lucky Girl and The Lost Thing

When she was born
There was happiness all around
Those charming and delightful days
Took all problems away

Each one in the family
Loved that lucky baby
She was cute and pretty
And a bit crazy

Every demand her parents' fulfilled
Provided knowledge, made her skilled
It was quite a smooth sailing
When something started fluctuating

What was it that went wrong
The ‘happy tune’ changed to a sad song?
When and how and what and why
Here I’m to tell thy

The one whom she loved the most
The one who taught her 
To make tea and toast,
The one who loved her 
From his inner core
Had lost something!
But what?
Let's explore.

I still wonder who he was
For whom she cared, and the cause?
How losing of that particular thing
A reason for her to be in twinge?

The cute smile disappeared
The craziness vanished
The fun & frolic, those amazement
All became a matter of past

The lucky girl with no reasons to cry
Now searches reasons to smile
I don't know why
She's busy searching for that lost thing
She prays, she laments 
But now she’s tired of everything

One day I saw her in the street
I luckily got a chance to meet,
To find out the reasons for her agony
I wished she likes my company

We had a chat for an hour or so
And then finally I asked in a voice lil’ low
“What's the reason you’re in pain??”
I asked her thrice, again and again

“Who's it you love the most, and so does he?
I'm your friend, you can tell me"
Lil’ drops of tears I could see in her eyes
Within seconds, gently she said "my paa"

Oh my God how sweet of her
I couldn’t stop even myself listening to the girl,
But there was something I still didn’t get 
I knew not about that lost thing yet!

“But what has he lost dear
When, how, and where?”
Listening my words, she shattered
Dropping in my arms, HEALTH she uttered

Now I came to know the reality
What I used to call the reasons for her agony
She loves her paa, and he’s lost his health
And as you all know, that’s what is wealth

So all my dear friends, a request to you
Let’s pray for her father and the girl too
Give them just, just 2 precious minutes of yours
May God do everything well, as better as before…

(Dated: Someday in the Summer of 2012)

So, hey girl, this is just a reminder that you’ve been stronger than you’ve ever imagined. You’re made of fire lumps, and magic dust, and poetries and unfinished tales. This time shall pass. Remember, there are good days, and there are bad days.

Do you still need more love? Seek love out here ❤

Goodnight.

Dubiosity of the Lost

When I told you I missed you
It was true
When I see we can be friends
you don’t see what I do
When I sit at my chair here
I feel my Monday blues
No empathy, so sympathy
Why the world’s so rude?

Confusion, delusion
I’m turning sore
No place left to find
what I’m looking for
Decisions, ambitions
backfiring the life we swore
This endless wait
when I stop missing home

 

Longing For Home

.

It’s the second time in months
The first in December it was
That longing became a reality
That missing home came crashing
Until it hit me right at my core
I remember last night how everything seemed worthless
The work and this being thousand miles away
Seeing them grow old, oh I can’t see that too
Is it too much to ask for?
Here I am, saving chunks so that I can head home
Oh, am I saving really, I am afraid
Just hopelessly living in this hope
That someday, maybe.

Regrets

It feels as though I’m an irresponsible citizen

It’s rising in flames, I’m caught up in my job

I see kids begging, or selling things they’re forced upon

I don’t stop by and ask why,  my break hour is limited

I was late in buying gifts to the girls working at my PG

They are gone, with the gifts lying in my cupboard

It feels as though the void is piercing deep

What the heck am I even doing?

 

 

 

How do we know?

Am i doing it right
Steering away
When we still got time
But how do we know
If it’s worth the while?

Don’t you wanna smile
A little wider
Maybe stay longer
With rush through the veins
Seeping deeper

This wasn’t unknown
I knew it from the start
yet unprepared we are
Leaving this shade
With a smidgen of scars

I’m running out of time
For words spill
When i start to write
About all
Which is not so right

So hey, am I doing right
Gearing away
Because we’ve got no time
despite knowing
It’s all worth the while